Salinger (2013)

Content by Tony Macklin. Originally published on September 22, 2013 @ tonymacklin.net.

My name's Holden.

If you really want to hear about it, Salinger is a lousy movie.

Some crumb-bum named Shane Salerno just made a crappy documentary about my mentor. I'm a liar myself, but - as you may know - I don't like phonies.

Salerno made most of it up. He interviewed a hodgepodge of fans, gossips, wanna-bes, never-weres, and relics from the long ago past, and left his clammy finger prints all over the archives.

He didn't even interview Robert Tichener and Paul Campbell. They were nice guys who knew us. Old Spencer would think his movie is a turd or something.

Jerry was an artist. You don't treat an artist as some kind of phony celebrity. You don't exploit him, unless you're a hack.

Salerno reminds me of Ackley, Maurice, and Luce. I think he probably is a graduate of Pencey Prep.

Salerno never met Jerry. You know I hate phoniness. This Salerno is more calculating than the Lunts ever were.

I've borrowed Macklin's space here. He's a real fan of Jerry. He says Salinger and F. Scott Fitzgerald - whom Jerry loved - taught him the most about symbolism. But even he should keep his distance.

Mack was about to teach a college course on Salinger one fall.

Mack tries, but nobody should mess with Jerry's work. Mack was going to feature Salinger's Nine Stories. What's up with that?

I interceded and got Mack to retire before going back to the University that fall. He never knew what hit him. It was a cosmic spitball.

Jerry made me special. There are thousands of sociological studies about teenagers, but there's only one of me. That's because Salinger is my heart and soul. Jerry created me out of himself and his talent.

There's only one Salinger and one Holden. There are thousands of Shane Salernos.

Salerno can't reach the authentic Jerome David Salinger, so he does reenactments. He hires an actor to hunch over a typewriter, smoke cigarettes, and pretend to be the person he is unable to get to in reality.

Lorne Balfe adds some crumby music - dramatic as hell. Balfe composed the music for one episode of tv's The Bible. Balfe should stick to his Bible.

The goddam movies, They can ruin you. I'm not kidding.

Salinger ends up making you blue as hell.

I have one thing to say to the director, "Sleep tight, ya moron!"

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